I told myself I wasn’t going to write this, and then I wrote it, and then I trashed that for a couple of weeks, and then I rewrote again, and then I deleted it, and then I thought ‘Screw it, I’m just going to do it!’ and now here we are. Don’t judge the process.
For anyone that’s been paying attention, I am occasionally absent from this blog. It usually lasts a week or two and then I’m back with some sort of apologetic post on getting things straightened out or making new goals or some other such nonsense. I then start posting a few throwaway things and make promises for more, and then I check out again until next time. I’ve been debating with myself whether to make another apologetic post or just move on, but here I am, apologetically, so you can guess what I’ve decided to do.
But I’m sick of writing ‘I’m sorry for being a crappy blogger,’ so I’m just going to explain the whole thing now so I don’t have to do it again. Here’s what happens:
-I think about my blog.
-I feel guilt from not updating my blog.
-I guilty-write a few posts for my blog.
-I post a few of these and feel accomplished.
-I started making goals for my blog, since I’m so damn pleased with myself for posting.
-I start missing my blogging goal deadlines.
-I feel even more guilt.
-I run away.
-Repeat about every two weeks.
This happens Every. Single. Time. I am just unable to commit to anything in this space. I’m thinking maybe it’s because I started this blog in a personal phase of wild abandon or that I let my fear of judgment get in the way of just posting or maybe I’m a crazy hermit that can’t do social for more than a week (and yes, in my hermit life, this counts as social).
I just know that I’m sick of writing these, “I’m so sorry, I made promises and broke them” posts, so I’m not going to do it anymore. Consider this the last, and let’s move on forward, shall we?
Here’s one last “I’m sorry” and a strange faraway picture of puppy.